une lettre

A summation:

Dearest Kyoko,

This semester went by really fast. Sometimes its hard to see how quickly we are going to be juniors, or even seniors. College is flying by. This semester was really different for me. I declared my major and took on a lot of extra curriculars. I don't regret it, but it definately made life a bit more stressful. I want to explain some things before the year ends and a new semester begins. My Kyoko, I appreciate you always being there for me. I like the fact that our friendship is different than others. There are things that we share that others don't. I'm glad that we got to know each other better this year, but I'm also sorry that some things I've done may have confused you. I never meant to make you feel like you couldn't rely on me, or that I no longer wanted to be your friend. As the semester went on I became really unhappy with myself. I was feeling unbelievably lonely because of a boy I should let go of but have yet to and my grades weren't what I wanted them to be despite studying as much as possible.

I decided to stop drinking because after it all, when I woke up the next morning, I always felt the same. Drinking didn't solve any of my problems, so I decided that I should just focus on myself for a while. I guess everyone mistook this. Drunken photos on facebook were really the least of my concerns. I felt like there were more important things in my life to concentrate on. I'm sorry if people thought that I had suddenly lost interest in them, or that I was being petty, but those were my reasons. Everything this semester has been either hectic or depressing, and I don't mean to come across as unemotional or disinterested. Sometimes I have a hard time sharing things with people, and I apologize for not telling you earlier. I want to start the new year by being a better person, for myself. I'm tired of being unhappy. I hope that you want the same things for yourself. I get worried when you drink and get upset, or when you are stressed out about things you can't help. I love you and I don't want you to die. But really, I wish you a restful and stress-free break. I'll see you when we get back.

Love,
Christina aka Chan-man